This past Sunday, a 16 year old girl, Alice Zhang, was killed in a tragic, preventable accident. A car hit her and her friend as they were crossing the street. As I’m standing at her memorial, pondering the questions of “why?” and reading the messages of grief and memory… it struck me how the most hardened-evolutionistic-atheist will say “rest in peace” or “rest in heaven” and also how timid Christians are to ask “was she a christian?”

Living our idyllic lives in Southern California, most of us don’t know how to deal with death, pain, and disease on a daily basis. For most people, their biggest complaint is the weather. It’s too hot or it’s too cold. So when a sudden, shocking tragedy like Alice’s death hits us, we don’t know how to respond. We say that she’s a wonderful young girl who had so much potential who should’ve lived a long life of joy and success. But we don’t know how to face our own mortality. And so, we grieve for a little while, then go on with our lives… shutting out the uncertain emotions and fears that make us wonder about life and death.

Don’t. 

Don’t run away from tragedy. Don’t run away from your questions, your emotions.

Take your time to ponder on what has happened, to ask the hard questions, to talk about it until all the facades come down.

I’m reliving so many memories. 

When I was in junior high or high school, three girls in my youth group were killed in a car accident. The driver, a teen, took an illegal u-turn. Or at least, that’s what I remember. I think I was also in the church choir for their funeral. I remember I cried so much. Three young lives. I think they were also juniors. 

Fast forward to my twenties, I remember the time when one girl died in a car accident when two cars were racing and her car crashed. She was the passenger in the backseat, she was the only one who died. She was 18 years old. The story of hope and redemption in this is that a little more than a year later, her mother gave birth to a baby girl named after her. 

Just a couple of years ago, a Camry filled with teens on their way to skating, I think, crashed on the 60 freeway. The car completely splintered. All of them died. They were on the way to a

church event. 

These are just the tragic teen deaths caused by car accidents. The older you get, the more tragedy, death, and disease you experience. 

It’s the reality of this present world.

Nothing will ever fill that hole that is caused by death. We can have joy and laughter and love in this lifetime, but it is only in new heaven and earth when we will be completely healed. That is how painful death is. Remember Elizabeth Elliot? How her husband was one of the five missionaries who were killed by the Waodani in South America? She grieves today when she remembers that painful moment, and so do all the other wives, and friends of those five missionaries. It’s okay to grieve. 

It’s okay to be angry, bitter, or sad in your grief. It’s the normal response.

Your bitterness, your anger, your grief is proof that you have loved fiercely. 

You have to go through the bitterness, the anger, the depression so that God can heal you… take your time, small steps… until you are ready for God’s healing process. Don’t suppress. I’d rather you be openly angry and bitter than suppress, because that’s when we can help you. Don’t hurry your friends in the healing process. Take time to walk with them in that journey slowly. Be there for them. 

I feel so blessed to be living in Southern California, where we do not experience death, pain, and disease on a daily basis. But we have to remember the ones we do. We need to go through the emotions of grief to grow compassion, empathy, and sympathy. There are those who deal with death on a daily, hourly, minutely basis. Especially those who live in impoverished or war torn countries like the nations in Africa. 

Let yourself grieve, so you can love, so you can have compassion, and take action.

Make your life meaningful every single day. Don’t waste it. That’s how you can best remember Alice. Make every single moment a moment that will bring someone into eternity with you.

Prayer is not a simple transaction between us and God. It is not a simple we ask, God gives. NOT Instant. We need to be persistent. Prayer is a long battle of which we are already assured of the victory. We just need to follow through with the death stroke. 

official tsunami warnings: http://www.weather.gov/ptwc/text.php?id=pacific.2011.03.11.064306

http://www.weather.gov/ptwc/text.php?id=pacific.2011.03.11.064306

http://edition.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/asiapcf/03/11/japan.quake/index.html?hpt=T1

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fgw-japan-quake-20110311,0,2441023.story

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-12709598

look at each picture on this webpage and pray! http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2011/03/earthquake-in-japan/100022/

A 8.9 earthquake has hit Japan, but this earthquake was situated 231 miles offshore of Tokyo, triggering a 33 foot tsunami that hit Japan, which also means that tsunami warnings are out for pretty much THE WHOLE PACIFIC RIM. this includes Korea, Taiwan, Russia, and China and as far south as the Philippines, Guam, Indonesia, and Hawaii, etc., and east to North and South America. The tsunami comes in waves, that recede, come again, recede, so we must pray against the energy in those waves. There has already been much grief and loss of property. We must pray! And we must help and assist as much as we can.

This earthquake is hundreds of times greater than Haiti’s earthquake! pray!!!

Multiple aftershocks in the 6.0 to 7.0 range have been hitting Japan. pray!

************Pray for people to come to know Christ!**********

1. Pray for divine intervention. Pray for God’s mercy on this land. Pray for God to send His angels to guard homes and families, direct the waters away. Pray especially for the cars driving around, that they can escape to safety. Pray for victory in the spiritual realm, faith not fear, perseverance, not panic. Pray for more people to pray (bible passages below).

2. Pray for the waters to calm down. for the tsunami waves to calm down, for the energy to dissipate. Pray against aftershocks, pray for the earth to be still. Pray against fires, pray against gas leaks, etc. 

3. Pray for specific details, the names of the places hit, the people involved, the skyrise buildings, the bridges, the apartment buildings, the small homes. pray specifically for structural damage. be as detailed as you can be. look at the images on the TV screen, and pray specifically for them and the ones you can’t see!

- PRAY FOR MINIMAL DEATH TOLL AND DAMAGE!!!!!!!

- Pray for the nuclear reactors. Pray for the coolant to arrive speedily from the US to help Japan. Pray for the reactors to settle, be calm. There has been an explosion. Pray that there will not be a meltdown. Pray for God’s presence and ministering angels to be with the workers as they work quickly to shut this problem down. Pray for endurance, quick skill, and no obstacles.

- Pray for power to be restored, so that people can move about in safety, rescue efforts can proceed more quickly.

- Pray for people to be able to escape the submerged cars, pray for calmness. 

- Pray for the windows to open and the doors to open and that they would be able to escape their cars and get to safety. 

- Pray that people can move to higher ground right now for all those countries expecting the tsunami to hit.

- Pray for speed and quickness of feet. 

- Pray for places that people can get to safely. 

- Pray for people to be able to call each other and notify each other of the coming tsunami waves.

- Pray for the fire that has just broken out in oil refinery in the Chiba prefecture in the Ichinara area.

- Pray for the several airports in the area are shut down including Tokyo Narita and Haneda

- Pray for the flooded airport runway in Sendai, pray that people got away to safety.

- Pray for the cars toppled over the bridges and the people within

- Pray against traffic jams, pray for cars to be able to move and head for safety all over japan

- Pray for the tokyo metro system

- Pray for the four coastal trains that the transportation officials have lost contact with.

- Pray that people who are trapped have the wits to not panic but find means to indicate to rescuers their presence with white flags, etc. 

4. Pray for weather conditions, that they are favorable for rescuing. 

Job 37:11-12 (NIV): God’s authority over our weather

11 He loads the clouds with moisture; 

he scatters his lightning through them.

12 At his direction they swirl around 

over the face of the whole earth 

to do whatever he commands them.

5. Pray for the government, military, firefighters, police, rescue teams, helicopters, fire trucks, other equipment and other volunteers, all the doctors, nurses, and medical assistants.

- Pray for their training to really kick in and kick butt

- Pray for confidence

- Pray for strength from on high

- Pray for stamina and adrenaline

- Pray for endurance in basic bodily needs: water, rest, health.

- Pray for strategic wisdom, discernment, and skillful sudden decision making.

- Pray for safety and mechanical victory in the helicopters, and other equipment

- Pray for courage

- Pray for unity

- Pray for the doctors, to respond quickly with skill and with the resources they need.

- Pray against serious injury, pray for bleeding to be stopped. 

- Pray for enough medicine and medical resources. 

- Pray for enough skilled people for this emergency situation.

- Pray for the military to respond quickly and efficiently

- Pray for supplies to be flown in

- Pray especially for the American military coming in to assist aid, such as the Blue Ridge navyship arriving from Singapore with supplies. Pray that the supplies will get to the right hands quickly.

- Pray for the government leaders to respond quickly and efficiently, especially for Japan’s prime minister. 

- Pray for wisdom, discernment and quick decision making. They are imperfect humans and pray that they will seek God to give them the help they need to make the right decisions.

- Pray for the disaster committee that the japanese prime minister is heading up!

6. Pray for residents and evacuees

- Pray especially for the sick, young, and elderly.

- Pray for faith and God’s calming presence

- Pray that Satan would not incite more fear, panic, despair, negativity, etc. 

7. Pray against Satan’s schemes and his own kingdom plan.

- Pray against looters and other hooligans who take advantage of this situation.

- Pray against internet charity scams.

8. Pray for God to be glorified and His kingdom come, His will done on this earth as it is in heaven.

- Pray that the church will rise up and pray. That even if we have little faith, that we have the desire to pray and trust that our prayers can move mountains because our power is not our own, it is the power of the Holy Spirit, the resurrection power of Christ, of miracles, of wonders. 

- Pray that the church in Japan will be strong and know that we stand together with them in solidarity and unity. 

- Pray that the Christians will not feel lost and alone, or lose faith that a disaster has happened to them, but understand that this is a time to cry out to God, because disasters are normal in this imperfect world. 

9. Keep praying, never stop praying. Keep praying. 

10. PRAISE GOD!!! Keep praising, worshiping, and declaring His sovereignty and glory.

Scripture

Mark 4:39: 39 “He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.”

“You rule the raging of the sea; when its waves rise, you still them.” (Psalm 89:9 ESV)

‎”God is our refuge and strength,

an ever present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way

and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

though its waters roar and foam

and the mountains quake with their surging…”

Psalm 46:1-3

you know. it has just been one of those weeks. 

on monday, i put my hand on the wall of the hall and prayed for God’s protection over the home. i asked and expected Him to protect and care for us, for i can’t be everywhere at once, but God can. 

we go to Chris’ mom’s house to babysit and bring the kittens to train them to interact with a baby and a dog. 

Chris’ mom is culturally Buddhist, so there are lucky bamboos (the lily family), chrysanthemums, and plates of oranges with red envelopes placed around the house. 

to put in Chris’ words, sunshine looks to see what is the most dangerous thing on the table and goes to eat it. i catch her eating the lucky bamboo. i catch her nosing around the mums. i catch her nibbling the oranges. most cats are scared away by citrus! i mean, people put lemon slices in their yards to keep out feral cats.  i look online, all three are toxic to cats, especially the lucky bamboo leaves. two or three leaves will kill a cat.

i panic. i research online further. chris calls the vet to ask what to do. in the meanwhile, the baby has fed sunshine chocolate in the form of cocoa puffs, potatoes and chicken bone, which are also dangerous to cats if ingested. 

we administer the proper dose of hydrogen peroxide to induce vomiting and sunshine refuses to vomit. she is such a little lady. she cleans herself all the time. she smells like milk and flowers. chris jokes that she’s cleaning herself to prepare for burial and i’m on the verge of tears. 

so, to deal with hydrogen peroxide, i give her boiled milk, which is acidic and will balance the alkaline nature of the hydrogen peroxide. most cats are lactose intolerant, so i’m gambling on the hope that my cats are not lactose intolerant. 

sunshine ends up being okay, and we come home, and i take sweetheart out for a walk and she eats some kind of berry. we go through the same process with her with the hydrogen peroxide, no vomiting, and milk 

then i find out that the cats’ food has been recalled and lacking in thiamine, which the lack of causes vomiting, loss of appetite, seizures and death. 

so i buy the cats new food. sweetheart has diarrhea either from the new food, the hydrogen peroxide, or the berry. 

i wake up in the morning and find that two of my plants have been stolen off my balcony. 

and that’s just the tip of the iceberg of the precarious week i’ve had, since there were other serious stuff. 

i know that you do the best you can, and it’s normal for bad things to happen. sounds good in theory, heartbreaking in reality.

there are also logical conclusions to be made. 

Chris’ mom is looking for prosperity, so she has all these things that symbolize prosperity around the house. they just happen to all be toxic to cats. 

The baby didn’t know what he was doing and we were too distracted by online research and phone calls to see him feeding the cat. 

The cats are stubborn little fastidious things who love their dignity, so they refused to vomit. 

The Wellness cat food brand was maintaining their standards, but i lacked the knowledge to find a suitable substitute. it was also possible that the local Petco guy was just telling me to buy the more expensive cat food without actually knowing it was good for cats. it’s also possible that sweetheart was poisoned by the berry. it’s possible that her stomach couldn’t handle the new food + berry + hydrogen peroxide. 

as for the plants being stolen, that’s just petty. it’s my first garden, and i’ve taken care of my roses, pansies, flowers with love and hope and patience.

i really don’t want to spend my time praying for the safety of my cats and the safety of my garden. i have other things to do. it comforts me that in the bible, Jesus said that He cares for the little sparrows and the lilies of the field. “a righteous man cares for the needs of his animal.” 

these two cats have become an integral part of my ministry to the youth. it is a joy to see the boys and girls play with them every week. there is something comforting about a beautiful little animal who has no defenses and much affection to give. it’s lovely to see the youth’s walls come down and they can just be themselves with the cats. they bond with the cats and i bond with them. 

i really wish i could’ve brought them to church this past friday and saturday, because there was a large number of kids and they all missed the cats. 

so, as i begin a new week, i confess, i pray with trepidation. 

nothing serious happened. no one died. no pet died. no house was broken into. but i’m shaken to the core. and so, i pray. i am praying that there is truth in giving everything to God in prayer, even the little things. it’s hard not to be worried or anxious, and so i pray for that peace from Him, the peace that comes from the assurance that our God is a good God who is sovereign, who makes all things beautiful in His time, who loves us very dearly, and the only thing He requires of us is our true love in return. 

so, God, i pray that You protect our home always. keep our apartment safe. let there be no breaking in, no robbers. please keep the cats safe. heal their stomachs and digestive systems. watch over my plants and please let not a single one be stolen or taken or lost. Father, i ask for Your peace to fill my mind and heart, to trust You as i do Your work. You are the one who gives and who takes away. i pray for Your mercy that You continue to protect the ones i love and care for. i pray that You keep the kids safe. i pray that You guide their steps, that You be the voice guiding them, comforting them, having fun with them. i am so scared. please draw me close to You today. please keep safe all those i love, human, animal, mineral, or vegetable. Give me strength to do Your work today. In Your Son’s most precious name, Amen. Let it be.

is watching the kittens fight over a patch of sunlight. how do i explain the concept of “sharing” with them?

i woke up this morning to find my cat sick and two plants STOLEN from my balcony :( the thing is, at the beginning of the week, i specifically prayed to God for protection and i guess nothing bad has actually happened yet. no one has died, no pet has died, and our home was not broken into. i just pray and beg God that the kittens do not suffer long term damages to their bodies and that He keeps protecting us.

go through life without making excuses and you’ll be okay ;)